Mindless Akatsuki Drabbles
by QueenOfFanFicWorldLoveGunner
Summary: Akatsuki Crack at it's crackiest. But not always- Read some nice, sentimental and border-line yaoi stories occasionally mixed with pure, utter crack. And so meaning that the content includes stories of Deidara almost dying, to Hidan pooping. SLIGHT HIAUS
1. Introducing the Akatsuki!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto or anyone else in this fanfic.

I've attempted to write this thousands of times. So, I'm finally doing it... And posting it.

Like the summary said, This story has NO plot whatsoever. It's a collection of- literatly, MINDLESS DRABBLES that have almost NO connection with eachother. Some might be dramatic. Some might be flashbacks. But most are retarded, pointless, and most of all..... Mindless.... Everything is humorful, EVERYTHING..... Oh, and like I said.... Yaoi tendancys..... CAUSE DAMMIT ONE OF THEM HAS TO BE GAY!

Okay, Now, I'm putting up these little Mini-Bio's... But long story short, My Mary-Sue OC went into the Naruto world sometime after Kazekage kidnapping arc and before Hidan and Kakuzu arc.... Screwed it all up...... And everybodys HAPPY and NORMAL and CRAZY!

This all will be explained in the story. But basicly the Akatsuki are on a parole like thing. They have to listen to Konoha but have been mainly reduced to doing Genin-level odd jobs.... Or just sitting around in the living room.... They also have a vacation home, but we'll get to that later. Right now they live in a cave that's buried deep in the Fire Villages woods..... Mini-Bios start now

PAIN: Pain is so crazy I almost HAVE to make him OOC. In this story he mainly trys to keep everyone from killing eacother. Makeing orders and leading everything. He has a very unhealthy obsession with Konan, and is very protective of her. He might have cool points. But, mainly he's just there cause he has to be.

KONAN: I seem to have a problem with Konan, I often make her with almost split-personalitys. Usually she's the motherly sweet and kind girl she was when she was little. Other times she's stotic and doesn't say anything like when she was with Akatsuki. But she also has a wild, playful, and slightly slutty side. Why? I dunno, but she's the only girl in a house full of hot guys, so she's GOING TO BE A LITTLE WEIRD.... I love Konan,

TOBI: Tobi is actually supposed to be the second personality of Madara. The playful and sweet side that we all love, Madara caught this from the trauma of losing his brother. And Tobi's personality is like a rencarnation of him. Tobi is Tobi basicly, you can't make him OOC. And finally, Tobi has conversations with Madara (who talks to him via head) and Madara often warns him of danger or explains something to him that no one else understands, and somtimes Madara even manages to have a little influence on Tobi, making him play a innocent prank or controlling his head completely and having him threaten or torture someone. (Usually Hidan or Deidara)

ITACHI: Itachi holds his pre-killing family personality, he's the sweet older brother who finds a silver lineing in a tornado. Often picking or teaseing his extended family. And often talks about his beloved little brother Sasuke(And his 'boyfriend' Naruto). Itachi rarely shows a cold or serious side, almost being childish with all the good things and always smileing. A dramatic moment with him would probably be something about his sight, he is nearly blind but uses his senses to get around, but usually has a escort none the less.

KISAME: Poor Kisame is so under-mentioned in the series, he is of course a little self-consious (comicly, like in the Omake's). He usually will just follow Itachi around and coo at baby Sasuke pictures with him. Also, He has a (once again, comical) grudge agenst Zabuza.... Look, see? I barely even have anything to say about him!

SASORI: Our adorable little Sasori is often blank, not talking, except to throw a insult at Deidara or to state something that was to him obvious. Now I love Sasori, he'll always get his moment in a story even if it's a un-needed yaoi-esque moment with Deidara. But he is often degraded to tending to Chiyo. But he can often have a dramatic moment with his whole 'lack of feelings' and all. But he will also be comicly vain,

DEIDARA: Deidara's the baby of the Akatsuki, and very talkative, so he is often the main character of chapters. But I love to keep his demented personality. He'll sometimes act like a brother/mother to Tobi, (when he's not yelling at him) and often picks on Sasori (if it's not yaoi, most SasoDei moments are like Sasuke was with Itachi, trieing to get his attention) But don't be surprised if Deidara is in every scene, he's a big(and loved by both fans and characters) member. And I could pull thousands jokes out of her.....I mean him.

HIDAN: Hidan is the main reason this story is rated M. I couldn't LIVE with making him out-of-character.(Censored Hidan just broke my heart) But he will have nice points. (I think he's like, second or third youngest right?) He's close with a couple members, expecially Deidara and Kisame. But lets not forget that Hidan's stupid sometimes. Just imagine him in your mind, and he'll have the stupid-but-hot-jock effect on you. Also, he's complains as much as Shikamaru, and is a pervert.

KAKUZU: This poor guy is only remembered because all the fangirls that don't like SasoDei are obsessed with KakHid. These two won't have NEAR as much yaoi moments as I'll be able to throw at Sasori and Deidara (or even Itachi and Kisame) but Hidan keeps this guy alive. Kakuzu's money obsession will often be used as comic relief. And his temper to keep a situation moving. A serious moment with Kuzy is close to impossible for me. But I will try. Just don't be surprised if you find him and Pain standing silent in the background.

ZETSU: Zet&Su. First let me make it clear that Zet the Whiteside _speaks in italic_ and Su the black side **speaks in bold**. Zetsu is often outside the cave or far away keeping watch. So he'll rarely apper. But it's easy to keep him in character.... Because he doesn't do anything.

OROCHIMARU: You didn't think I'd forget Orochi-Kun would ya? Of course he's going to be in here! Sometimes him and the sound will just apper randomly. But that's okay. I keep Orochimaru in-character, but nice (you know, like a soccor dad is nice, he's on parole too, he can barely do anything.). I'll have his sadisim cut down to a comical level, He knows what people think of him, he likes to bug.

TEAM HAWK: Them too! Sasuke acts like he does before Sasuke Retreival arc. And is constantly with Naruto, (getting countless teases from Itachi) Sasuke's mood can range from pissed-off-emo-cute-boy-of-all-maturity to how he was acting when they were trieing to get Kakashi's mask off..... yeah. Anyway, Suigetsu is totally in-character because I love him, he's perfect, and is exactly like me. Jugo will rarely say anthing, but keep a nice personality because Kimimaro's alive(don't ask). Karin will be slightly bashed, but not too bad... It's just that she'll be in-character. Flirting with Sasuke and argueing with Suigetsu, I might give her that dramatic moment where you start to hate her a little less, but the next chapter she will be the skank she is in the series.

THERE I just said EVERY MAIN CHARACTER in this story for you.... Except Naruto who will get lots of parts because- well, he's the main character. I LOVE him, he's the strongest out of EVERYBODY and will be in here as often as Sasuke..... The end.

Now you can read. Have fun, this is just the intro.

I was listening to GLAMOROUS by Fergie when I wrote this... imagine it playing at the begining

---------------------------Introduceing- THE AKATSUKI!!!!

High in the skys of Yagu Airport a bright white and huge plane neared the teminals as it landed, the bright blue skys were barely plotted with clouds. The landway was empty because of the guests nearing the place were important and no confusion would be tolerated. out of the people looking out from the windows inside the airport most of them held grim faces because if they bothered to go to the airport ment they were leaveing the Shinobi villages to go somewhere else. Faces of people returning or comeing were filled with wonder and tears.

As the long white plane landed and soon came to a stop, the people exited via stairs. The door opened and a young girl jumped out covored with punk rock gear and hair gel. "Hello my loves! I know you love me! kiss kiss! kiss kiss!" She cooed skipping down the steps. A blonde boy hurridly followed after with a pink-haired and raven head in tow.

"OHMYGOSH Sasukethatwassoawsomewasntitsakura OHMYGOSH weneedtodothatmoreoften OHMYGOSH Ithinkimhaveingaorgasim OHMYGOSH WOOOOOO!" He screamed and talked non-stop as Sasuke Uchiha looked about to throw up. Sakura tiredly stumbled down the stairs. Sasuke too ran down after his teammates when their fellow flyers emerged.

"Ah, yes, Shinobi ground, not so good times but it's okay," His slithery voice mumbled having just woke up, "Kabuto, milkshake." He snapped his fingers at Kabuto Yakushi whose face looked positively disgusted.

"Yes, Orochimaru-Sama," He growled, lifting a silver tray handing him a pink milkshake.

More people emerged (rest of the sound basicly) and one jumped clear off the steps to the bottom, landing on Sasuke who was waiting for Naruto to stop stareing at the undecarrage of the plane, "OHMYGOSH Sasukewasthatnot AWSOME?!" The boy grunted a reply before Naruto pushed Suigetsu off of him and the two started wrestleing.

Sakura looked around as she tried to make it look as though she wasn't with Naruto. "Hey, wasn't there another plane landing right after us?"

"The Akatsuki plane?" Sasuke perked up looking around, "They were close behind, wern't they?" The two searched the skys, they then saw the streak of black smoke coming down,

------Inside the 'Akatsuki' Plane

"OHMYGOD!" A voice yelled. it might of been three people at once or one member just found a unused set of vocal cords.

"KAKUZU WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU GOTTEN US INTO?!" Pain yelled.

"What have _I_ gotten you into? What did _I_ do?!"

"YOU BOOKED A SHITTY ASS PLANE!" Hidan yelled clutching a pole.

"IT IS NOT SHITTY!" He retorted

"THE FUCKING PILOT O.!" Hidan through back pointing to the foaming-at-the-mouth pilot that the frantic Konan was useing medical jutsu on.

"THAT'S NOT MY FAULT!"

Meanwhile, back in the seats, while most of the team was infront argueing about the nose-diveing plane. Itachi was calmly reading the paper as Kisame sat next to him rocking back and forth.

"Deidara DO something you fucking IDIOT!" Sasori yelled leaning agenst the wall to keep from rolling around on the floor like a empty crate

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT ME TO DO!?" He yelled trieing to handle the controls, "I drive a BIRD with CHAKRA not a damn PLANE!" The plane started going down farther as Konan screamed now clutching Pain,

"K-Konan," He muttered,

"What?!"

"I-I-I uh, have something I should probably say now,"

"NOW'S NOT THE TIME YOU PIN-CUSHION BUFFOON! _DO_ SOMETHING!"

"I spent all my chakra sneaking our bags onto the first-class flight!- Because SOMEBODY didn't want his PUPPETS SCRATCHED!" He finished yelling at Sasori,

"Hey, the look of my puppets are more important then your stupid LIVES,"

"SASORI SHUT YOUR DAMN ASS UP AND HELP ME!" Deidara screeched.

"How?!"

"I DON'T KNOW!" The plane was getting closer to going head-first into the ground untill Itachi walked up front and pushed the wheel up making the whole thing jerk up into the sky as someone else screamed (coughdeidaracough). They missed hitting the ground but now they were over the sea.

"Now how are we going to get back?!" Pain yelled,

"I dunno," Itachi mumbled,

Pain smacked his face before turning to Konan again, "Konan, this is really important,"

"What!?" She screamed, Pain's face got red and he tried to stutter out a response,

"W-w-well it's kinda- well since- you know we were like nine- or ma-maybe ten, uhh, well okay since we first MET really. I uh- well it's just tiny- I've had a little bit- Okay it's not little it's not little AT ALL but, well, I-I-I k-kinda, It's just that- I uh, I really d-"

"I HAVE A IDEA!"

"Oh thankyou GOD!" Konan and Pain yelled for two very diffrent reasons, Deidara pulled the wheel up as far as it would go. The plane started pulling back and going higher, it did a backward flip and Deidara got it to roll back into a straight position in the opposite direction. The crowd on the lanes looking up at them had their mouths gapeing open as Orochimaru took another sip of his milkshake.

The plane got closer down to the ground, but of course the driver didn't think of the landing wheels and the metal hit the concrete and started skidding dangerously fast with sparks flying up everywhere.

The bomb artist blew open a hole on the roof and out of it jumped out Sasori, Kisame, Hidan and Kakuzu. Hidan and Kisame slapped their sythe and sword into the ground to try and stop it as Sasori tried connecting his chakra strings to the ground. Kakuzu lashed out his thread to grab every sturdy-looking rock the others pulled out to use it as a anchor. Finally, Pain who summoned every ounce of energy he knew he didn't have used Almighty Push at the front of the plane. That weakened blow and the others attempts made the plane slow to a stop a couple feet from the ledge leading into the ocean on the other side of the landing path they started on.

The planes pink emergency slide popped out with irony. The chakra-exausted members on top on the plane jumped down and most of them collapsed. Others tiredly dragged themselfs out of the plane. Tobi, who had been listening to music the whole time slid down the slide in his swim trunks with a glee and then finished with a victory dance at the bottom.

------------Later-Inside the Airport

"I swear to-" The tired Pain cut himself off panting with his arms in the air- "...Myself," He finished. Pointing at Kakuzu, "That is the LAST time we let _you_ book the flight!"

"I picked the cheapest flight, as I should have," He replied very politically.

"WELL THEN NEXT TIME PICK THE SECOND-TO-CHEAPEST FLIGHT!" He yells before panting some more and collapseing at Konan's feet. The girl lifted her comatose partner and dragged him to the waiting sofas.

Over at the sofas, Naruto now sat on his knees between Itachi and Sasuke, "OHMYGOSH thatwassocoolitachiyoursoawsomealmostasawsomeasme WEEE!" The hyper boy pounced up and down and fell back playfully onto his tired teammate Sasuke who just looked down at him like he was a pile of dog crap.

Next to Itachi was Kisame, who was next to the exausted Deidara whom was stretched out across the sofa and two leg rests. The fully re-charged Sasori read out-dated magazines predicting the end of the world (three months ago) as he used Deidara's stomache as his own leg rest. Tobi jumped hyperly up and down singing Mandy Moore songs. Konan through Pain's near-lifeless body next to the unmoving Sasori and plobbed herself between the two artists. Sasori mumbled after about three minutes of Tobi singing the same chorus over and over. "...Well at least we know to ask Itachi next time we need to land a plane,"

The near-asleep Deidara jumped up startleing Konan and Kisame, "Uchiha got us _MORE_ LOST! Where as _I_ LANDED THE PLANE!" This was followed up with Deidara's speech impediment that he kicked himself for cause it made his voice squeek. Sasori didn't reply but Tobi switched to a diffrent Mandy Moore song,

"OOOOOOOOOOONLY SEVENTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!!!!" He screeched as his friends noticed just how annoying he was.

Kakuzu walked up with only half of their luggage- having noticed something after picking up a particular blood-soaked white suitcase covored with Jashin symbols, "Where the fuck is Hidan?" Everyones eyes got wide as Konan squeeked and Sasori put down his paper realizeing where they left him.

----------------Outside

"Hee-hee, this is so awsome,"

"Poke his eyes out!" Karin urged Suigetsu as he poked bloody organs with a stick he found. Suigetsu poked the heart and it squrted blood over their hawian style clothes (That everyone from the first plane had been wearing diffrent colors of) Suigetsu giggled some more and Karin looked about to crack up,

"Hey! you fucking tards I need those!" Hidan's severed head yelled at them from under a fragment of dirty gray metal. At this Suigetsu poked extra hard at Hidan's ripped lungs.

"Karin!"

"I told him to stop!" Karin lied straightening up as she twirled and rushed over to Orochimaru whom Konan Kakuzu and Sasori had brought since while they were missing Hidan, last seen on top of the plane but never getting down from it. Orochimaru was missing his most mischivous boy and most sadistic girl.

The five got up to where Suigetsu smiled proudly infront of Hidan's ripped apart body that had fell under the plane just before it stopped.

"Suigetsu, what is that?" Kisame asked his former student with forced authority.

"A stick," He said still smileing

"And what were you doing with the stick?" Orochimaru finished.

"Pokeing Hidan's ass with it."

"GET THAT FUCKING CRAZY ASS SHIT FUCK KID AWAY FROM ME!" Hidan's ripped-up head head gurgled as Kakuzu tried to pull it out.

"Now what's the point of these kids yelling swears that don't go together?"

"I have no idea. Kids these days are bloody idiots," Sasori replied to Orochimaru (Them both being the oldest in this gathering next to the currently occupied Kakuzu) Konan tried to help gather and put Hidan's body and organs in the right places and Karin stayed still in the good-girl spot just slightly behind Orochimaru who kept talking to Sasori about the good-old-days that they'd actually destroyed.

----------Inside-Luggage

Deidara stood still tired infront of the luggage roller as Tobi blabbered on about something concerning tacos and squerrels. Sasuke and Naruto still wandered around following Itachi who had gotten all of his luggage seconds after getting there. Along with Sasuke. So the two Uchiha's watched their blonde friends look for that suitcase covored with bumper stickers and the one shaped like a frog.

As this scene played out, we shall go back and see exactly why it was that they were at the airport. Tsunade needed all the paroled cons (Akatsuki and the Sound) to go to the non-Shinobi lands, because the Five great ninja nations were running out of cows. And they were in desperate need of milk. So they were escorted by the most powerful ninja cell (Naruto's) to hawaii. And as their flight got cancelled because everybody (except them and a pack of Kangaroos) had passed out and saw the future at the same time. In which they ran around acting like idiots for two minutes and seventeen seconds.

They then stayed a extra week, and when time came to leave they were all going to get on the first-class plane Sasuke had got with daddys inheritance. But since everybody would have to pay five dollars for a seat (which they had) Kakuzu insisted they go on the cheaper, twenty-five cent flight nobody wanted to go on.

So all of the Sound rode in the first-class plane (And Kabuto, for sixteen beautifal hours, was not the one serveing Orochimaru-Sama. God bless that poor scarred attendant) As the Akatsuki got to go in the rickety plane where only half the seats had seatbelts and the only bathroom was full of vomit. Which of course ended in the ex-con pilot that didn't have a license to even drive a _car,_ passing out from drug-overdose and they were forced to land the plane.

(Hidan and Kakuzu are still outside dodgeing landing planes as Kakuzu searches for the last of his organs so he can finish re-sewing Hidan's torso.)

Also, Deidara and Naruto quietly cried as everybody around them were getting their luggage and they themselfs wern't.

"And so THAT'S why I think Obama needs to stop advertiseing on the internet." Tobi finished. "... Oh, HI SASORI!" Deidara's head tiredly turned to the direction Tobi yelled, the 153-centimters tall puppet man walked up to them, stood there for two point three seconds, and picked up his luggage that right on que came out.

"Having trouble?" Sasori asked,

"Hng hmm hrn," Deidara grunted, Naruto did a little whine that sounded like two birds in mid-song crashing head-first into eachother.

Sakura, who had been makeing sure the Sound five-and-three wern't getting into trouble. Walked up and picked up her pink-and-green suitcase that passed right as she stopped. Naruto made a louder noise as he slumped to the ground. "Um, Naruto?" Sakura pointed to the giant green thing passing on the belt.

Naruto snatched up the bag and opened it, "Yay! now I can have my ramen!"

"How are you going to cook it? dobe," Sasuke asked still sitting next to his brother on their luggage.

"Well, it was a sixteen hour flight right? well, I got all my ramen cups and filled them, so they would all be done by the time we got here!" He tooted like he was the worlds greatest genius. But in putting his hand back into the bag he found all the ramen spilled on the rest of his stuff and the noodles disintegrated into mush. And another whine popped out his mouth.

"Your such a idiot Naruto," Sakura scolded,

"Loser," Was Sasuke's obvious finish.

The three got up and Sasuke waved goodbye to his smileing brother as they left, their escort mission being done. Naruto continued rummageing in his bag mumbleing, "Ohh, Gama-Chan's all rameny and mushy and-" A kangaroo pops out. "- Hello,"

Deidara still stood waiting for his luggage

Back at the sofas. Pain was barely coming too on Konan's lap,

"Are you an angel?" He dizzily asked,

"Sure." She giggled patting his head. Kakuzu walked up holding a bloody laundry bag and Hidan's head in one hand and a messily put together torso in the other. Hidan was of course screaming profanitys and every woman, child (and some men) screamed at the horror house scene and trail of blood being left.

"KUZU YOU DAMNED FUCKING IDIOT I SWEAR TO JASHIN I'LL RIP OFF _YOUR_ HEAD AND DRAG_ YOU_ AROUND ONCE YOU FUCKING SEW MY BLOODY ARMS BACK ON YOU SELFISH BASTARD!" Was one of the sentances Hidan rambled off.

"I think we should be getting back now, Orochimaru's long gone and Hidan's getting anzty"

"ANZTY MY DAMNED ASS YOU JACKASS SHIT-FACED MOTHER FUCKER!"

"Yeah I think so too," Konan said, "Deidara! have you gotten your bags yet?" She yelled past them.

"Noooo, hng," Deidara whined, Kisame walked up and grabbed his blue shark bags that were there on que, he then helped Itachi up and the two walked to the sofas.

Deidara started wondering where Sasori wandered off to, anything to keep from thinking about his anger (he was this close to going all-out terrorist on the airport) Sasori had walked off to somewhere after getting his bags.... And Deidara had nothing else to think about.

Finally, he just got up on the belt and stomped through the little door, he glared at what he probably should have suspected, "You goddamn fucking bastard. Hng,"

"Hello Deidara," Sasori said, not looking up from playing with Hiruko's weapons as he sat on Deidara's luggage he had moved to the floor,

"I have half a mind to throw you in a fire, hm" He growled quietly,

"Half a mind is right,"

"YOU BLOODY BASTARD I'M GOING TO BLOW YOU TO BITS!"

"Your lucky we're not in Amarica still,"

"I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!" He jumped off the belt. Sasori stood up and avoided Deidara's wrath. Outside Konan could hear the excitement and knew exactly what was going on. And she knew that if she didn't want to get thrown out of a public place (again) She'd have to resort to-

She ripped open her shirt and started running down towards the exit, "FIRST ONE TO CATCH EM' GETS EM' BABY!" This then causes a stampede of business men and the newly resurrected Pain.

--------Later

Eventually, everyone managed to get back to the Akatsuki Cave. After Deidara managed to char a bit of Sasori's hair, Sasori managed to char bit of Deidara. (Torso and up to be exact) Itachi volenteered to help un-pack everything with Kisame. Pain was also pouting because Tobi had popped up and reached Konan before he was even able to by-pass the businessmen.

Kakuzu had sewn together Hidan's torso and limbs and was now sewing those together. Zetsu, who had stayed behind to watch the cave. Watched his fellow members' condition.

**"What the hell happend to you?"** Su asked.

"Don't ask," Kakuzu mumbled, finishing up Hidan's second leg. Hidan himself had gotten tired from yelling and ditzy from losing just about every ounce of blood in his body.

_"Tsk tsk, you all look horrible."_ The Zet side mumbled. _"Just look over there at-"_ He turned to gesture to Deidara, and saw that Sasori was apparently not finished and was hitting Deidara comicly over the head with a puppet arm he apparently lost the rest of. _"-......Deidara,"_

**"Who cares about him? he was only let into the organization to be the Akatsuki bitch."**

_"Who said something as horrible as that?"_

**"The fans,"**

_"Deidara is a valued member of this family, he was in no way accepted into it to be a 'bitch', he was accepted because of his su-"_

**"Blah, blah, blah, blah,"**

_"Ugh,"_

"Would you please shut the living hell up?" Kakuzu growled.

Zetsu glared down at him and then 'humf'ed' away and dug into the ground.

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Konan put their rewards of milk into the near-empty fridge, before slamming it shut and slumping down next Pain on the couch.

".....Pain?"

"Yes," He grumbled,

"What was it you were going to tell me on the plane?"

"Sasori stop hitting Deidara with that!" He jumped up and left the room. Konan brushed it off and flipped on the all-yaoi channel she hadn't told Kakuzu they were still paying for.

--------------------------------------------------

Stupid? it's supposed to be,

Some chapters (might) be better. But yeah.

This is the basis of the whole thing..... But there will be some chapters ever-so-slightly cooler/funnier/sadder/awsomer.

....LoveGunner, over and out,


	2. A Bathroom Story

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Akatsuki, or any other Naruto people.

Weeeeee,

Next chapter up, here we go, this is one of my oldest Akatsuki skits that I don't even remember coming up with. I just played off a bunch of the stuff that happened to Hidan... You'll see what I mean.

-----------------A Bathroom Story

It was the day after the Milk-mission. Hidan was put back together and eating everything he could get his hands on while Kakuzu wasn't looking. Deidara slumped into the Akatsuki's single bathroom to see his bodys damage. His face had dirt and what might've been bruises. He started useing his kunai to cut off the bits of his hair that were burnt black(They didn't have the 'budget' to get actual scissors. Even though everyone knew they had _at least_ a billion dollars in the bank/Kakuzu's mattress)

Soft knocking on the door and Konan's voice entered, "Deidara? will you be a while?"

"Whatya' need Konan? hmm?"

"I have to take a shower. After jumping through the forest with business men on my tail."

"Just come in, I'm not looking," She pranced in wearing little more then a towel. (As in a towel and her flower) and slipped into the shower and through her flower and towel outside the curtain. "Don't you just love that this bathroom's the size of the kitchen? hn?"

"Well that's not saying much," She joked before turning the water on. Deidara laughed and finished off with shakeing his hair around. A few more snips and he was done. The door opened and gutter-brained Deidara half-expected Pain to be sneaking in, but Hidan closed the door quietly behind him.

"What are you doing? hnm," And Konan stuck her head out and laughed,

"I gotta take a fucking shit the size of my head," Hidan whispered,

"I'm outta here," Deidara wedged past Hidan and out the door.

"Go ahead sweetie, just try not to make too much-... noise," Konan said a little nervous now,

"Can't promise ya' that." He grumbled rushing over to the toilet.

Outside, Deidara jumped over the couch and sat down. Most of the Akatsuki were still asleep. Deidara would have usually slept in, and actually, Deidara thought, Hidan and Konan would have too. Usually it's Kisame, Kakuzu and Pain that are first up. But Pain was still exausted and Kakuzu was probably playing with his money. And Deidara would have put money on Kisame sneaking into Itachi's room to chat about pointless things.

He flipped through the chanels. Sasori was probably checking his puppets. All 298 of them. No way Deidara would forget how many he had, at one point Deidara had pissed him off- he didn't even remember what he did- and Sasori made him hand him each one of them. In order. He then repeated the list again in the exact same pattern when he was sealing them away so Deidara'd have to dig to the bottom of the pile. _'Without _scratching or letting _one single part _fall_ too' _He mocked in his head,

In the bathroom it was a little awkward. Konan would have left the shower by now but Hidan was still struggleing with the- quote 'giant motherfucking log of shit' as Hidan kept yelling at it. Konan shifted around the shower. The water was getting cold but if she turned it off she'd be able to hear all of the gruesome sounds since she certainly wouldn't _leave_ untill he did.

It was only when the water started to numb her toes that she just turned off the water. Hidan was whineing and on the verge of screaming. "Are you okay out there?" She asked, genuinely worried.

"Ahhh, fucking log of shit and asses," Now she could smell it too. Plugging her nose and trieing to covor her ears too. Then Hidan finally screamed and she heard a blop and gurgle. "Shit,"

"Got that right,"

".... I'm not gonna flush this,"

"Maybe you shouldn't," It'd plug up the toilet for sure.

"....I gotta go," She heard him getting up and leaveing, followed by Deidara screaming 'Holy shit un' for reasons Konan didn't know.

She quickly got out and wrapped the towel around herself and left the room, "What happened?" She asked the shocked Deidara who was sitting backwards on the couch.

"....Hidan just frikkin' ran out of the bathroom with his pants down," Konan let that image sink in for a minute. Before they both heard Kakuzu scream from down the hall.

Kakuzu, the poor soul, had opened his knocked-on door to the pantsless Hidan standing infront of him. "What the fucking hell Hidan?!"

"You need to sew somthing."

"Your dick to my ceiling?! sure I'd be delighted," He yelled as the curious Kisame opened his door. Followed by him fainting dead-away.

".... My ass is ripped," Kakuzu forced his eyes down and saw the blood dripping from behind him.

"....What the hell did you eat?"

".....Stuff,"

"What stuff?"

"... Alotta stuff." Kakuzu stared at him, not sure weither he was more worried about their food supply or his partners personal health.... Food supply won. So he ran down the hall as half-naked Konan and Deidara stared down the hall at Hidan. Kakuzu made it to the fridge and he made a unable to discribe noise. Konan and Deidara jumped back three feet as Hidan scooted into the living room, "You gonna fix me or what bitch?"

Kakuzu turned his head slowly to stare at his partner. He walked over, lifted Hidan by the waist and through him on his stomach onto the couch. Deidara slowly started scooting across the wall before running down the hall into Sasori's room.

Everyones room had stone floors and walls, then lots of furnature and sometimes wallpaper. Sasori's had some portraits he stole in his early rouge days. And as Deidara had expected the floors had a number of puppets scattered around. Sasori was still messing with Hiruko and he barely cared to look up at his partner. "What now?"

"....Hidan's half-naked on the couch. Hnm"

"Interesting, I might have to see that," He said blankly. Deidara slowly walked forward and crawled onto Sasori's gianormous bed that he never used. Sasori finally decided to turn around and he saw his blonde partner in the fetal position sucking his thumb stareing at the wall. "...I definitly need to see this."

Sasori left the room, he saw Hidan with his ass in the air and Kakuzu sewing it shut. He walked a little bit farther. Imagineing that if he had any senses left he'd probably be feeling nausous right now. He then saw Konan walk up the hall to her room, had he not been stareing at Hidan's nudity he might have tried to catch a peek at hers, but instead, as a plan popped in his head, he entered the bathroom. Closed the door and locked it, walked up to the toilet, where a tird the size of a watermelon was, the water was red with Hidan's bleeding butt and a little trail went across the tiled floor to the door. The puppeteer pulled the little silver lever and the flushing comensed. He then jumped out the window and locked it too.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Hidan screamed wakeing up anyone who wasn't already up. He jumped up from the couch and slammed into the locked door. This, however, caused Kakuzu to be dragged with him and he ended up slaming his face right into Hidan's bloody and still poopy rear.

Itachi exited his room, knowing only that Kisame was getting up off the floor, judgeing from the sound of the rocks. "What's happening?"

"I don't wanna know," He groaned with images still in his mind. Itachi left it alone and opted for standing in his doorway till something else happened.

Pain exited his room finally. He saw Hidan at the end of the hall banging on the bathroom door with Kakuzu on the floor behind him apparently chokeing. But then Konan came out of her room in her frilly black Akatsuki skirt and tube top and he got easily distracted, "Pain," She said, not noticeing where he was looking, "I think we need to do something."

Hidan finally broke down the door. Yellowish water and bits of brown things floated into the room.

This noise was enough for Itachi, "Ah, so the toilets backed up."

Hidan looked in frantic, his worse enemy the giant tird (Besides the Akatsuki's squerel Konan wouldn't let them kill and Tobi called 'Bucky') was in the middle of the floor. Laughing at him. Hidan thought, Kakuzu finally got his airway clear and began yelling random profanitys at Hidan who only stared open-mouthed at his giant shit of doom.

Pain had made his way and saw the sight too.(Much to his detest) "....I think we need to fix the toilet,"

"I'm not walking through that," Konan pouted.

"TOBIIIIIIII!!!!" Pain yelled, the masked member popped up randomly behind them.

"Yes??"

"..... Go fix the toilet," Tobi nodded and walked across the wall and on the sink to the toilet that he skillfully stopped the running water of. He then jumped back into the living room.

"Done,"

"...Okay, now, who caused this?" He said, not being able to register the half-naked immortal next to him. But Kakuzu pointed a accuseing finger at Hidan.

"Hey, the fucking midget flushed it,"

"Fucking wooden midget?" Pain checked,

"Shyea' "

Pain stood silent for a minute before getting a decision in mind, "DEIDARAAA!" He yelled Ozzy-style. The blonde limped unsteadily out of his partners room, holding himself like he just had a nightmare. "Go look for Sasori," Deidara made a squeek that must have been a agreement as he slowly walked towards the caves exit. "Alright, does anyone have to use the bathroom anytime soon?"

"Tobi has to pee," Tobi raised his hand,

"Well, I suggest you use a bush,"

"I thought only ladys had bushes?" Konan giggled at this and Pain just shut his eyes and pretended he wasn't the leader of a bunch of mentally insane-slash-retarded teenagers.

Hidan poked Kakuzu who sat on the floor next to him silently. "Hey, my ass?"

"....Hmmm," He stood up and pushed Hidan back onto the couch to continue re-connecting his destroyed pooper.

Less the minutes later Deidara and Sasori walked slowly back inside. Pain opened his eyes again and pointed to the floor, "Sasori, you are in charge of cleaning this,"

The puppet leaned forward to look at his mess. "Where do I put the giant shit?"

"Frame it and put it on your mantle, anything, I just never want to see it again," Pain turned and walked back into his room followed by Konan. Sasori pondered how good of a idea that was, as Deidara still looked like he needed to be admitted into a hospital.

Kisame and Itachi still stood in the hallway, feeling like the only sane members of the Akatsuki (which usually ment that they wern't qualified to _be_ members) Kisame seemed to be having flashbacks as Itachi simply walked over to the couch that wasn't riddled with shit, piss, blood, and a naked Hidan.

---------------------------------------------------

Remember this chapter (not that you'll want too) Hidan's butt-rip will be reffered too often.... yay,

Tell me if I'm mentally handicapped-slash-need medication.


	3. Sasori's Temper

DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything Naruto, or anything in this story really.

This was the first chapter I came up with XD it starts out a little like a scene in a SasoDei fic. But there's NO relation WHATSOEVER

XD but yeah, are you a SasoDei fan? if you are, go check out 'In Time' by... well, I don't remember who, but yeah. It's awsome, cuz Saso's so confused about his lovey-doveness for Dei-Dei XD (but in this chapter, he is very clear on his feelings for him)

.... I needa ease up on the pet names XD okay, you can read now.

---------------Sasori's Temper

Sasori's temper is a strange thing. Because, Sasori's only real feeling emotions are all forms of anger (Annoance, rage, pissed off-ness, murderous intentions,) and then a form of enjoyment. And however that could very easily equel to a very awsome SasoDei Yaoi story. It won't (today). Right now, it added up to this twist of events.

Sasori and Deidara were sent on a mission by Konoha to Iwa. Pain of course sent them, because Deidara knew the area. It was simple, they give the Tsuchikage some papers. And done, they did this within five minutes of arriveing. And left after Deidara made a quick visit with his brother. But this series of events once again has absolutely nothing with the fact that that meeting could evolve into a very tear-jerking reunion.

Instead. They after that left the village in silence (They had barely talked the whole three day walk, any words were one-sided conversations Deidara was practicly haveing with himself) Deidara was about to try and humor himself with bugging Sasori about something trivial, because the silence was frankly driveing him insane(er). They were winding around a tall mountain that led down to the forest seperateing Iwa from Konoha, going off the trail would mean you were walking on air. Since the left of their trail was blocked with the mountain, and the right went straight down to the slightly snowy ground. Since the mountain was so wide.

Deidara looked over the edge remembering all the times the bullys threatened to push him off. But then remembered his conversation mission. He turned back to Sasori who rode slowly in Hiruko, "Sooo, Sasori-no-Danna... Read anything interesting lately? hng?"

"I read a book where a brillant man who was very talented and handsome was walking down a mountain. Then a very stupid, ugly, and freakish _woman_ started to bug him. The man then pushed her over the mountain to her death. And the man later became very rich too, the end."

Deidara stared at the hunched little man for a while, "...M'kay," He replied, quietly saying 'Mission failed' in his head. They continued down the path a while, both were actually wearing their Akatsuki cloaks, because that's what they do when they go on a mission that isn't apple picking. They wear black robes with pretty little clouds on them. So they will be feared.

Deidara's was open, because he was once again complaining about being too hot. And when he had said this, Sasori said he would do something to Deidara that was very simular to the story about the brilliant man and the freakish woman.

Seconds later, five thugs jumped down chargeing after them with knives. Sasori swiped three of them off the mountain with Hiruko's tail. Deidara the jumped back so he could take more time in makeing bombs to throw at them, but when he was putting Chakra into them, another thug jumped on his back. Which in surpriseing Deidara. broke his concentration and made the Chakra he put into the bombs triple. He through them away from himself immidiantly and then swung the thug on his back into the explosion which through him and the other two off the ledge... It also blasted Deidara and Sasori off too though.

But, Sasori had jumped out of Hiruko( who was charred in the blast. Not that it hadn't happened countless times before, which usually always resulted with Hiruko in the workshop and Deidara in the hospital.) He then used a scroll to put Hiruko away. He grabbed the ledge and lashed out his... stomache..... cord..... scorpion thingy and caught Deidara, twirling it tight around the now fraziled blonde..... This is where the actual story starts folks.

"S-Sasori-no-Danna!" He whined like a scared little girl, "t-trouble!"

"Good god brat, I didn't think you to be the type to be so scared of heights," He said, he couldn't look down to his partner because the smallest break of concentration might let him lose his grip.

"I'm not scared of heights, ungh," He almost whimpered as his voice started to crack. He looked to his side. "I'm scared of your-er- stinger." He said, reffering to the scorpion tail wrapped around him whose poisonous, sharp, and rather shiney tip was dangerously close to his arm.

Sasori didn't need to look down to see that picture. And not only that but the poison he had in his tail right now was his strongest in his batch, the smallest prick would give Deidara about five minutes untill he either went into a coma or cardiac arrest. But of course Sasori's already bad grip was slipping, small pebbles fell down past Deidara's head as he squeeked in seeing the stinger clench tighter on reflex, it now snagged his cloak and Deidara tried to wonder if he could move well enough after it stung him to make sure his final cause of death was explosion.

Silence as the chilly air made the sway nervously, and finally Sasori's grip fell. Deidara choked back a gasp as the tail unwrapped around him. Sasori grabbed better hold of a ledge and sent his thing.... Tail, cord, thing back down to grab Deidara yet again. Deidara looked up and saw that he changed the position so that now it was wrapped arounf itself a safe distance from his head.

"No hope for going _up_," Sasori grumbled to himself. "Brat, how close are we to the ground?"

"Uh, well, jumping here would probably hurt but-"

"But's enough for me," Sasori quickly unwrapped from Deidara and his mid-sentance turned to a girlish scream. He attempted a foothold on the wall but that worked horrably. He then pushed off from the wall to keep from hitting the ground full-force. And fell onto the ground with a hard wack.

"Ow," Sasori was now able to easily lift himself into a better hold,

"Hm, didn't think you weighed that much," He looked back down to his partner who rolled over onto his back

"...I think my arms broken, ungh,"

Sasori let go to jump down to his partner, attempting to show him how to do it. But when he let go of his foot hold a rock knock down and hit him as he pushed off from a ledge (same one that Deidara had used) Sasori lost his mid-air balence and flopped down simular to how Deidara had.

He sat up unsteadily at first. Then with a heart-wrenching pop his left arm fell off. His apparently now cheerful partner started laughing histaricly.

"Feeling alittle under-handed Sasori-no-Danna? I lost my right one! we can share now!" The histarical and insane boy fell back and rolled around in the snow laughing non-stop.

Sasori half-heartedly glared at him before lifting his broken arm with his good one and popped it back into the socket. He couldn't move it but that was where it stayed. "I'll have to get damn Chiyo to fix this,"

"Gramma will kiss it and make it better!" Deidara mocked. Sasori glared at him again before standing up and grabbing his pony-tail to drag him by,

----Later

They had made contact with Pain and told him they'd be stopping at Suna on their way back. And were right now passing into the Wind's woods.

"Sasori-no-Danna?" Deidara called,

"Hm,"

"I'm tired,"

"How'd I guess?" He turned back to the blonde who's right arm still hunge losely at his side. "What the hell did you do to it?"

"I think I popped it out of the socket." He looked down at it.

Sasori looked at him a second more before grabbing his arm, "That can be easily fixed," He lifted the arm and Deidara made a stifled whine, "I suggest you lean agenst that tree there,"

"Why? hng,"

"Well, I might not be able to freely get it back in with only one arm," Deidara gulped and leaned on the tree on his left. Sasori got on his right and pushed the arm down. A sickening crack and Deidara's gasps and chokes followed as Sasori then proceeded in waveing it around.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow," Deidara slunked to the ground once he let go and started rolling in pain,

"Oops, must've pinched a muscle,"

"What? hn, like in the story of the handsome, _tall_ scientist and his short, ugly assistant? nhg?" He growled up.

"No, like in the story of the poor, defenseless little red rideing hood and the handsome, intelligent, tall, and horny wolf." Mr. puppeteer walked past him and back down the path as it took a few minutes for Deidara to recovor mentally and physically so he could follow.

--------Suna

Chiyo had her hand on Sasori's as she moved her fingers around re-connecting her grandsons chakra strings that kept him in control of his limbs.

"Is he okay? hn?" Deidara asked a couple minutes after seeing Sasori make no facial expression whatsoever.

"He's fine, since he can't feel pain, all of the stress of what I'm doing is comeing to him in mental pain, imagine thousands of math problems being forced into your head to solve. He is utterly defensless right now while he's solveing the problems. So us distracting him is causeing him huge stress. So I suggest if there's anything you've ever wanted to do to him. You do it now." Deidara perked up, he the dragged a chair over to face away from Sasori and sat on it backwards, his red-headed partner looked at him with complete blankness.

Deidara the started. First off, he licked his partners face. He then took his fingers and put the on his eyes to make them swirl around. Pretended to be a puppeteer and made him dance around. Grabbed his ears and wiggled them back and forth makeing squeeking sounds. Poked his nose to see how far up it went. Pinched his cheeks. And a very large number of other things that came to the clay artists mind.

After about an hour, Chiyo let her hand fall away from Sasori's, "ALL DONE!" She called loudly,

"YOU FUCKING IDIOTIC BRAT!" Sasori pounced on Deidara and was about to begin punching him untill Chiyo connected her strings to his un-prepared body and pulled him back.

"You have three minutes before he can break free," Chiyo warned, smileing.

Deidara instantly got up and started running down the Suna streets. It was about three minutes exactly untill Sasori had disconnected all of Chiyo's strings and gone after him. He flashed up the streets and caught up with Deidara in no time.

But unluckily for him, Mr. Kazekage Gaara grabbed him and wrapped him in sand coffin. Deidara made one fleeting glance back before continueing on towards the Akatsuki cave a three hours sprint away.

Sasori glared down at the Kazekage, "If your stupid sand so much as _scrapes_ me,"

Gaara brought his hand up and clentched it softly. Sasori had to let out a gasp as his weak spot got pressure on it. But he was more worried by the fact that he couldn't feel his chakra strings connected anymore. "Oops, did I just do that?" Gaara mocked blankly before pulling his sand back and having Sasori crumble into a pile of wood at his feet, "Did I pop something out of joint?"

Sasori spent the next three hours at Chiyo's as she re-connected his entire body.

-------Akatsuki Cave

Konan with Tobi on the La-Z-Boy they found in a dumpster (No one still dared to touch what was now called the 'shit couch')

"And then, little Goldie Locks said- 'And tis won es too cowlded,' " She impersonated the little german girl who broke into a bears house as Tobi snuggled up next to her.

"KYAAAA!"

"Bastard!"

Konan jumped up as Deidara ran through the living room and down the hall. Sasori having caught up with him just as he made it to the cave. Sasori himself used a diffrent route and broke right through the office which brought him just feet away from where Deidara was. Kakuzu, who was in the office, made a tiny high-pitched sound and fainted.

Sasori almost caught Deidara untill they passed Pain in the hall and he grabbed Sasori. "What the hell?"

Deidara collapsed on the ground right infront of the surprised Itachi and Kisame, panting.

"What did you _do_ to him?" Itachi asked,

Chiyo suddenly popped up out of nowhere handing them a scroll. "Everything on this list," Kisame took the list and Chiyo dissapered

"Oh my gosh!" Kisame yelled stareing at it,

"Oh I would so do that," Itachi pointed at one.

"What about this one? I so need to know the look on his face!"

Meanwhile, Hidan opened his door. He was wearing nothing but his underwear (which Pain insisted on at least that) and he still had a number of stitches and bleeding scars, "What the fucking hell's all this shit?" He asked. Deidara ran into Hidan's room for covor, where as Hidan himself just walked over to Konan, "No really, what the hell?"

"No idea,"

Where as Sasori started to scream- "You godamn BASTARDS I'm going to RIP YOUR STOMACHES OPEN and DRAIN OUT YOUR BLOOD and rip YOUR FILTHY ORGANS from your DIGUSTING BODYS and then CARVE YOUR SKIN into FUCKING PUPPETS! ALL OF YOU! I SWEAR TO GOD!" He thrashed in Pain's arms fruitlessly,

Behind them, Konan stood flabergasted next to a head-cocking Tobi. And then Hidan, "I wonder what I'd be like as a puppet?" Hidan started imagineing thousands of possablitys. Kakuzu then trudged up along side them imagineing the destroyed rubble in his hands was burning money.

Sasori panted heavily, and Pain asked, "Are we okay now? can we be a goodboy?" Sasori had no anwser, "Okay good." Pain let him go and he stood there silently.

Before going for Hidan's door and ripping off it's hinges. Inside Deidara was agenst the wall stareing at him, he screamed again and jumped out the window. Sasori followed after him which was then followed with Konan and Pain.

"Why the hell did you let go of him!? couldn't you tell he was still pissed off?!" Konan yelled at him waveing herself around franticly.

"SASORI'S _ALWAYS_ PISSED OFF!" Was his oh-so-obvious reply.

"RAUGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Kakuzu blasted through right after them, nostrils flareing and his eyes rolled back red. He charged after Konan who reacted with a simple 'Ope' gasp and then flittering into thousands of paper pieces. Kakuzu glared around looking and found Pain next to him. Pain simply Almighty-pushed him through the wall. Kakuzu looked up slightly stunned, and in his mind he imagined the rubble on his shoulders as money and it too flared up into flames. "MY MONEEEEY!!!"

Pain made a run for his room and locked the door to try and call some Anbu who could get Kakuzu to calm down before realizeing that Kakuzu un-plugged their phone and ate the cord after they made a long-distance call.

Meanwhile, in the hall Kisame and Itachi stood on the ceiling to keep out of Kakuzu's rampage. He hadn't been this bad since Konan got everybody new clothes for their birthdays. (That Kakuzu put all as one joint day where everybody got one thing) Hidan tried to get Kakuzu to 'calm the fuck down' but Kakuzu replied with digging his eyeballs out and ripping all of his skin off his body and his limbs apart. Kakuzu then went for the un-touchable Tobi who dodged all of his thrashes with ease, making the perfect decoy.

Zetsu the popped out of the ground and swallowed Hidan's remains to keep them from getting trampled on, (Or just to eat him, who knows?) Kisame and Itachi calmly sat on the ceiling looking at the list still.

-----Outside

Sasori thrashed his-.... cord, tail, scorpion thingy, all around the small clearing, pushing down trees and Deidara through small C1 bombs to keep him back.

Konan's paper flittered around in the sky looking for a opening. Finding it, she turned her little confetti fragments into spears and flew down to Sasori's back and pinned him down. Deidara whirled around to check if he was really down. Konan's papers stuck up like little paper planes and Sasori's pouty face showed that he couldn't fling them off for a reason, "Sasori?" He slowly approched "K-Konan, I think you hit his spot, hm."

"Oops! I'm so sorry Sasori!" No reply.

Deidara got down closer to him, "Just don't pull that one out, uhn," Konan pulled back all her papers except the one that went deep through his back and poked his heart. Sasori sat up and pulled it out himself. Konan then put herself back together and sat next to the two. "Sasori? are you okay?" He said unsteadily, "We're all cool right? ugn, forgive and forget? right? yeah?" He pleaded. Sasori didn't anwser put he also didn't try to rip out his throut again. Which was a _good_ sign. So Deidara exhaled, his hair was dirty again and his pony tail was falling out, but he didn't have to worry about his live anymore.

_"Is it over?"_ Zetsu got up out of the ground, Hidan's severed head looked lazily up from his shoulder. Other bloody body parts of his were scattered around Zetsu's inside along with one of his arms waveing around sticking out.

"Oh, my! Pain!?" Konan remembered him but also remembered Kakuzu. So she went for going around to the back of the cave and climbing through Pain's window (He was sucking his thumb in the corner, flashbacking on the worse parts of living with Jiraiya)

Zetsu walked over to the artists. **"Is he **_**sulking?**_**"** Su asked.

The three all looked at Sasori, who still stared blankly at Deidara. Covored with little scrapes, scratches and dirt. His mouth less the a dot on his face. His bright red hairs bangs mostly covored his apple-cyder eyes. And although it wasn't the first time, with him slumping on the ground sitting on his knees like that he looked about eight-years old.

_"OHMYGAWD he's so CUTE!"_ Zet qweed

"Like a fucking little boy who stole a cookie!!" Hidan's head cooed. Deidara almost chuckled if he didn't think it'd set the puppeteer off again. He instead just helped the tired killer up with a smile as Zetsu and Hidan cooed come more.

"MY _MOOOOOOOOOOOOOONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!!!"_ Was what they heard from inside

-----Inside

Kakuzu still tried effortlessly to land a hit on Tobi. Who was apparently haveing loads of fun. But Kakuzu's hits got faster and he eventually hit Tobi in the stomach. Which once again didn't hit because Madara made sure to send it to another demension. But the centurys-year-old sadist (who knew Kakuzu from old days) madesure to send his forearm away as well. So Kakuzu's arm was cut in half and the hand fell on the otherside of Tobi.

Kakuzu lost one of his hearts, and was probably going to lose another one from a heart attack. But only black thread came out of his wound.

"I wonder how that'll come out?" Tobi mumbled, his mask was pulled to the otherside slightly, his sharingan that Madara kept blazeing constantly shined. And it got brighter as Tobi got the idea to just pull Kakuzu's arm out of himself. But Kakuzu went after him so Tobi jumped up Matrix-style and let the arm drop on his head. Kakuzu quickly re-connected them and started chaseing Tobi again.

Pain, re-charged and calmed by the sight of Konan. Jumped out of his room and Almighty Pushed Kakuzu all the way out the front entrance of the cave.

----------Konoha-Haruno Household

"Sakura!" Her mother called, "You have a phone call!"

"From who?"

"He says he's from dawning retirement home," Sakura knew the 'dawn' was the code for Akatsuki everybody used so listening civilians didn't get frazled. She hopped down the steps and grabbed the phone,

"Hello?"

"Sakura," Sasori's quiet and right now raspy voice asked, "You can regenerate a heart right?"

"Yeah, what happened?"

".... Kakuzu had two heartattacks, lost most of his blood, hit his head on a pike. And was thrown twenty feet into a crooked tree." He explained, Sakura sighed but smiled lightly.

"I'll be there in a hour."

--------------------------------------------

I came up with this and it was what got me to write the whole thing XD Sasori's temper is a mean one, but Kakuzu's is worse.

I'm maybe, kinda, alittle bit warming up to Sakura..... hmm......

In storys I just love writeing in her POV, but I didn't get to this one. I just like it cause her personality and alertness are perfect for discribeing stuff. From small but un-annoying flashbacks to discribeing character hotness. It's almost relaxing.

But anyway, I don't even really know how I got this chapter started in my brain. But the sound Kakuzu makes when Sasori crashes through the wall just cracked me up.

Alot of these chapters are likely to focuse around Sasori and Deidara. (We might even get bonus chapters of things going on at Ororchimaru's house! TRUST ME I can drag the Sound brushing their teeth out for a LONG time.)

But yeah, I might make a dramatic chapter soon, I got a idea watching House of Payne.....

My Gramma doesn't like me saying F0^& in my storys/authors notes.... so I really hope she doesn't read this.... or any of my other storys XD

As for my lack-o-updates for The Shineing and Obsession (both Naruto crossovers) The Shineing probably won't kick to life untill I'm totally done with the book AND my main story Confessions of a Teenage Monster. And Obsession won't start back up untill my library gets the movie and I watch it. (But I'm going to COMPLETELY re-write The Shineing. There were too many pointless parts and honorfics in the original. So, yeah,)

Okay, LoveGunner over and out, for now. (DUN DUN DUN!!!!)


End file.
